Commercial jingles from the 80’s play in my head
Something is terribly wrong when a crimson-coifed clown
Enters your mind while you’re sitting on the toilet
Now I’m craving a cheeseburger, fries, and maybe a vanilla shake
Do they still make those cute little apple pies?

I didn’t think I was a paranoid schizophrenic, but I question my sanity
When my favorite radio station begins another long set of rock
And suddenly all the songs pertain to my current situation
Meaningless lyrics transmute into puzzle pieces
My new hero has pierced eyebrows, ripped jeans and a funny haircut

I almost forgot to mention the delicious irony of plus-sized models
Appearing on the same web page as diet advertisements
Pornographic pictures of women with xylophone ribcages
Exposing barely there, or else surgically inflated breasts
Tooth whitening gum sounds better than fried chicken anyway

Alida Santandrea was born in Providence, RI in 1979 and currently resides in the small town of Blackstone, Massachusetts. In addition to writing, her interests include reiki, attending drum circles, astrology, and tropical fish.