Alan Johnson, dressed in sterile nurse’s scrubs watched as his wife Paula prepared to give birth. He held her hand in his as squeeze in time with the contractions that came in quickening waves.

"I can see the head coming out now" the nurse said sweetly "And it has your hair"

Alan watched, utterly transfixed as his child, his first child, the pinnacle of his and his beautiful wife’s love, entered the world. It was before dawn on Christmas day, and Alan and Paula were delighted that their child would be born on this, the holiest of days. This truly would be a Holiday to remember.

The baby’s head had cleared the birth canal, and Alan could see the child’s angelic eyes, open and drinking in the first lights of existence. Soon Alan heard a quiet cry.

"It’s a girl…" Said the nurse "A beautiful girl!"

"Honey…" Alan said, but when he looked into her eyes, he saw that her concentration was elsewhere.

"My goodness" Said the nurse "There’s more!"

Twins, thought Alan. He hadn’t expected that. Surely the obstetrician would have told them. But there was no time to think as he watched as his wife’s face contort with intense exertion. Soon, the nurse spoke again.

"It’s a boy…a beautiful boy. And he has your eyes.

Alan was taken aback. His wife had blessed him with both son and daughter that day. He held the newborns in his arms and looked at her.

"Darling, I…"

He began, but something was wrong. Paula was still elsewhere.

"There’s…there’s still more." Said the nurse.

Alan looked at the nurse’s face, which bore an impossible stare, then down at his wife’s outspread legs, from wherein came…something else.

Something shiny and metallic.

Slowly it came forth, and the nurse reached down and pulled it out. It was made of stainless steel, rectangular and damp.

"It’s a…" Began the nurse, and her voice became a hushed whisper.

"…It’s a toaster"

She held the appliance out to Alan, who stared back in shock and disbelief. He looked back towards his wife, eyes agape.

But her eyes were glazed over. She did not look back. She was not through yet.

"There’s more!" Said the nurse "There’s still something in there."

Alan Johnson was beyond shock. The nurse was acting on instinct alone as she reached down and coaxed a second household appliance from Paula Johnson’s dilated orifice.

"It’s an espresso machine, complete with frothing nozzle"

Alan was overjoyed. He’d always wanted one of those. He hoped it was a Krupps. He looked to his wife with a look of abject gratitude, his expression saying thank you, love of my life, for not only have you given me two beautiful children, but also a like amount of valuable household appliances.

But if she saw his expression of gratitude, she did not acknowledge it. Her attention was elsewhere. She was not through yet. And she would not be, not for many hours to come.

Over the next sixteen hours, Paula Johnson underwent what might be recorded as the most grueling labors in history, if such things were recorded. The next item to be brought into the world through the labors of Mrs. Johnson was a popcorn machine. This was followed by a fondue maker with six matching forks. Next was an electric tea kettle, followed by an in the shell egg scrambler, a waffle iron, an electric shoe buffer, his and her mug warmers, an electric meat thermometer, a dehumidifier, a humidifier, and finally, a second toaster.

Finally at a quarter to midnight, and exhausted Paula Johnson strained no more. Her face went slack. She had made an inhuman effort, and now strained no more.

Alan Johnson beamed with pride at the mountain of newly birthed appliances piled on the floor. He had nearly forgotten about the twins, who were by now gurgling softly on a table off to the side. He looked at his wife, who attempted to speak .

"Merry Christmas." She croaked, her whispers barely audible "I love you, honey"

"And I love you, baby doll" He said, but in the back of his mind he was thinking that they really had no use for two toasters. But there was no reason to split hairs.

After all, it was Christmas.