You know the feeling.  It usually happens somewhere between two and three in the morning.   

The ultimate choice.  Be good, be bad.  This story wouldn’t be interesting if I chose the good side, now would it?  I mean, it would just be the end of the story right?  I can see a little contextual foreplay if I look hard enough.  How about this… 

After years of deciding to be bad, Jason closes his cell phone.  He decided not to text Jenna, as she really was a nice girl and didn’t deserve to be treated so badly.  He turns off the light and knows he’ll feel much better about his decision tomorrow.   

OR, how about this… 

After years of deciding to be bad, Jason closes his cell phone.  He didn't text Jenna as he felt the need to say his prayers and get a full eight hours of sleep before he woke up on time to catch the train for work in morning.  After all, he did have his boss to think about. 

OR, the beginning to the story I know you are waiting for… 

After years of deciding to be bad, Jason looks at his cell phone.  For a second he contemplates hitting the sack, but the neon alarm clock blinks 2:55 reminding him he’s already way past the point to get a full eight hours of sleep.  He knows his boss is relying on him, but the goddamn tequila makes his head stop reacting rationally.  

Who to call?   

There’s a few in rotation these days, but Jason’s in the mood for some nasty shit. Jenna, always willing to pick up the phone after two in the morning, willfully agrees to let Jason come over.  Jason crumples tomorrow’s clothes in to his computer bag, grabs his keys and heads to the street.   

You’d think the ten-block walk would sober some sense in to him, but all he keeps thinking about is flipping Jenna over on her stomach and fucking her from behind.  She is a good girl, but also one who could take having her hair pulled a little too hard, if you knew what he was saying.  He loved it about her.  He never spoke to her during the day, and never sober.   

Jason had another girl for that.  Marnie.  Friend of a friend. Hot, totally cool and good for Sundays.  Early dinner, movie, hanging out with his friends to watch the game.  Marnie is the girl (you know, we’ve all dated one) who is the “catch”.  The “better not let that one slip away” girl.  Marnie is also the girl, that after they had sex the first time (missionary and polite, naturally. No oral, and definitely no anal.) felt a little guilty.  Don’t get her wrong, she’s no virgin, but she just doesn’t feel comfortable doing it so soon, especially without a condom.  Jason says, I totally understand how you feel, Marnie.  Don’t worry about it, he’s not that kind of guy either.  He’s just happy he’s found someone who he can “be himself” with.  After Marnie falls asleep in Jason’s arms, he knows he’ll have to have sex with her again, but he won’t want to.  Something is missing.  I mean, she’s built right, is nice and all, but he needs a girl that can take charge. 

Also in current rotation, Berlin. As mysterious and international as she sounds, despite being raised in Jersey.  Not Euro in a sense where she wears her pants too high or listens to Mama Mia in German, but just more liberated than most.  She’s not stuck with the traditions that most chicks are.  She’s already divorced at 30 (Jason is 35 and has successfully avoided this). She’s free.  She travels.  She’s smart and she likes to have sex…with Jason.  She doesn’t ask him questions about his parents or his friends.  She knows he trades other people’s money during the day and he knows she values or devalues people’s lives through insurance policies during the day.  Soul traders, both of ‘em. Jason knows he can curl her toes and she needs him only to lie there and take it.  Jason’s cool with this as he’s really lazy at heart and if she’s the type of girl that is only in town this weekend or that Wednesday night, he cancels whatever he has going on because she’s worth it.  They usually have dinner, catch up on small talk that means nothing, and spend most of their time laughing off the inevitable “no, this IS the last drink for me” that is the precursor to her giving him a blow job first to ensure she gets to ride him for at least a half an hour.   

Jason is sure that she was the smartest girl in school who got overlooked for the prettiest.  But, Berlin knows that what she lacks in looks, she makes up for in confidence.  Sure, she wants to settle down and have kids someday, but not until she meets the right man… who she is sure isn’t Jason.  She doesn’t have time to “date” and he’s as good as anybody for right now.  Besides, who says you need to be married to have a child now?  She can go to a third world nation and pick one out if she happens to miss her ovarian expiration date.

Berlin also comes as a package deal with her best friend “I love her, she’s like family” since 4th grade, Kristen.  Kristen is married, despite that she and Berlin have experimented sexually together since that one time behind Timmy’s garage in the 8^th grade.  Kristen has yet to have an orgasm with anyone else but Berlin and is secretly jealous of Jason.  Jason tells Berlin he thinks Kristen is in love with her, and she says being gay is a choice.  However, it’s happened three times now that the three of them have hopped in bed together.  Kristen won’t let Jason have sex with her, but she does let him go down on her while Berlin holds her hand.  

I apologize; I was only going to write about Jason’s night with Jenna.  He sounds kind of interesting from this standpoint, doesn’t he?  Kind of a stud of sorts? I digress… 

Jenna doesn’t make it a point to run around her apartment anymore when Jason calls, frantically putting away dirty dishes or picking towels off the floor.  She doesn’t bother quickly shaving her legs in the bathroom sink or slipping on underwear that is uncomfortable passing them off as “I always wear things like this at home when I’m alone, baby”.  She keeps her ratty t-shirt and boxer shorts (courtesy of three boyfriends ago) on, throws her long blonde hair in a ponytail, and unlocks the chain so he can let himself in. 

They say hello in her bedroom, awkwardly hugging.  This gesture seems so much more intimate than what they’re about to do.  As they back away from their embrace, Jenna pushes Jason against the wall.  Shoves him, really.  Game time. He pushes her back and she stumbles to the foot of the bed, where she sits with her legs apart.  He falls to the ground, crawling toward the bull’s eye, knowing that she is already mildly wet.  He kneels in front of her pulling those boxers down (thinking to himself, are these mine?) and gives her what she needs (she’s unable to orgasm any other way).  She repays him twice that night by letting him give it to her the way he wants to.  She doesn’t mind, she’s really just thinking about Mark anyway.  Why couldn’t he just be a little more playful in bed?  He was just so hung up.  

Mark didn’t mean to hurt Jenna, but she was just too much to deal with.  All his friends were shocked when he said he just wasn’t attracted to her.  He loved her; he just wasn’t in love with her.  He needed someone a little more normal.  Someone he could sit around on Sunday’s with and watch TV.  Someone who he could really talk to. 

Mark’s sister Marnie wants to set him up with her friend Kristen’s childhood friend Berlin, but she’s just so busy at work, she’s hard to nail down. 



Jennifer Smythe is from Los Angeles and now lives in Nashville, Tennessee. She is constantly trying to find the balance between good girl and bad.